Advanced composition

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>Date: 25 Mar 1997 0:00:00
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>Subject: Advanced composition
>From: 6th-sense@xc.org (Tim Tyree)
>X-Originally-From: Tim Tyree <ttyree@willamette.edu>
>To: 6th-sense@xc.org
>
>Originally from: Tim Tyree <ttyree@willamette.edu>
>Originally dated: 25 Mar 1997 0:00:00
>
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>             "The Sixth Sense - The Sense of Humor"
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>
>Winners of the "worst analogies ever written in a high school essay"
>contest:
>
>He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
>guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one
>of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
>speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar
>eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. 
>(Joseph Romm, Washington)
>
>She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to
>dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door
>open again. (Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station)
>
>The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
>bowling ball wouldn't.
>(Russell Beland, Springfield)
>
>McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled
>with vegetable soup. (Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring)
>
>>From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
>surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
>"Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. (Roy Ashley,
>Washington)
>
>Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
>(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)
>
>Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the
>center. (Russell Beland, Springfield)
>
>Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access
>T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by
>mistake. (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)
>
>Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
>(Unknown)
>
>He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
>(Jack Bross, Chevy Chase)
>
>The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
>fry them in hot grease. (Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring)
>
>Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a
>movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like
>"Second Tall Man." (Russell Beland, Springfield)
>
>Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
>grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
>left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
>at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)
>
>The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr.
>on a Dr Pepper can. (Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.)
>
>They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
>resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. (Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.)
>
>John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
>had also never met.
>(Russell Beland, Springfield)
>
>The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet
>of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
>(Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria)
>
>His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
>underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)
>
>The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
>(Unknown)
>
>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
>"The Sixth Sense - The Sense of Humor" is a open conference to share
>humor with over 3,000 members.  Forward this one to a friend.
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>
>             Watch this space for future announcements
>
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Tyler Nally  <tgnally@prairienet.org>
Co-Owner Higher-Fire