Testimony 2 -bp

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I don't know if my last post of this part got through but I had
fogotten to put in the text.  Anyway here is part 2.
BP>

 Here is part 2.

 I don't always know what to do anymore.  I have put up such a facade
to protect others around me for such a long time, that it is slowly
but finally breaking down around me.  "For everyone who exalts
himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will  be
exalted."  (Luke 14:11  NIV).  I know this may seem long, and if you
decide to quit reading I don't blame you, but please bear a little
longer with me. 
 It seems that I be at rope's end, hit a brick wall that I can't
hammer through, etc...  Remember what I posted some time ago,"The
prayer of the Trumpet", it can sort of sum up what I think sometimes.
 By the end of the semester I will  have something up also to show
what the other half is. Aye, I just remembered, "what is in my heart,
I" may best some it.  I may repost some of the poems I wrote in the
past over the next few days for others to see what I am talking
about.  "I have compassion on the multitude...lest they faint in the
way." (Matthew 15:29-32).  I have no idea exactly why I am thinking
about this right now, I just found it in one of my books and decided
it needed to be put in now.   
 The sermon last Sun. night had part of a theme, "Why have you walked
away from God".  The other I think was "he is still there waiting for
you".  I guess I am running out of things to say here, So I guess I
will try to sum up now what has happened lately.  I pray for
deliverance and the shackles around my feet and hands are unlocked,
but I can't bear to let go of them.  It is like part of me still
wants to be bound by this that I fight and lose daily.  
"Commit thy way unto the LORD: trust also in him: and he shall bring
it to pass" (Psalms 37:5).  I know there is hope, if I can just let
go and let God have control of the situation. Ahshie, Ah Eloi.  I
feel something now, but cant let it out since I am in the lab. 
please pray brothers and sisters for I know I am not the only one who
has felt this way among the ranks of the church. I feel a lift in my
spirit after typing this. maybe later I might be able to actually say
what it is that has been troubling me.

Brandon Parker
East Central University
Ada, Ok                 Email  park4864@mailclerk.ecok.edu