Church Bloopers

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Greetings Saints!

This came from CHRISTIA overnight.  I know I've seen most of these 
church bulletin type bloopers.... I hope they are worth a couple of
nyuk, nyuks as always.

Bro. Tyler

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Not for the Comically Challenged.

A friend sent this one to me. I'm afraid this might be old stuff but
many had me laughing out loud. I decided to send it because I enjoyed it
so much despite the fact that most of you have probably seen it.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Church Bloopers
These are ACTUAL announcements from ACTUAL church bulletins.

1.  Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

2.  Thursday night - Potluck supper.  Prayer and medication to follow.

3.  Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

4.  For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery 
    downstairs.

5.  The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of 
    David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

6.  This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of 
    the church.  Children will be baptized at both ends.

7.  Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social.  All ladies 
    giving milk will please come early.

8.  Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing 
    "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.

9.  Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.  
    All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in 
    his study.

10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and 
    lay an egg on the altar.

11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water."  One of the ladies 
    will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in

12. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of 
    the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will 
    come forward and do so.

13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can 
    be seen in the church basement Saturday.

14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music 
    will follow.

15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" 
    Come early and listen to our choir practice.

16. The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir 
    will sing, "Break Forth With Joy."

17. Today...Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 8 p.m.  
    Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.

18. During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of 
    hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.

19. The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

20. The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the 
    Rev.  Shirley Green who has Mrs. Green with him.  After the service we 
    request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

21. The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the 
    church basement on Friday at 7 p.m.  The congregation is invited to 
    attend this tragedy.