Common Bribes for Computer People - Nuk Nuk

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Here's a "Nuk Nuk" I think you'll bust a gut over, or at least get a good
laugh out of :

				Common Bribes for Computer People
Those who love diddling with computers are an odd lot. In addition to
thanking them when they help you,
consider offering a treat every so often." Such as :

	* Any Mexican or Thai prepackaged prepared foodstuffs with a nearly
all-red thermometer on the
	   side of the box.
	* Anything made by Hostess--Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Fruit Pies (especially
the ones with pudding
	  in them), and so on. The Dolly Madison line of snack cakes is also OK
but only when Hostess
	  is unavailable.
	* Doritos -- preferably nacho-cheese flavored.
	* M&Ms -- the 2-pound package. You get bonus points if you pick out all
the brown ones.
	* Oreos with Double Stuff. More stuff. More cholesterol. Computer people
like that.
	* Cheetos. This prize is the primary reason that computer nerds have
yellow stuff between their
	  teeth.
	* That 4-pound bag of fortune cookies you see at Sam's Club.
	* Doughnuts. Don't be afraid to offer a computer person a stale doughnut.
In fact, banding a
	  doughnut on a table is one of the ways most computer people wake each
other up in the
	  afternoon.
	* Ritz crackers and peanut butter, a.k.a. Ritz Bits. Some times just
giving computer people a 
	  4-pound tub of generic peanut butter is best. Hand it to them along with
a butter knife -- but turn
	  away quickly.
	* Jolt Cola -- all the caffeine and twice the sugar. (Another favorite
beverage is Diet Coke.
	  {or Diet Pepsi}
	* Pizza -- perhaps the ultimate choice. Slide a pizza under your guru's
door if you fear to venture
	  inside.
						Tip
Avoid giving healthy food, although all-natural potato chips are OK. Steer
clear of vegetables or anything
green (except for M&Ms). Meat is OK, if you want to fix dinner for your
gurus. But don't ask them how 
they want it (the answer is usually raw).
									Bro. Kenny M.
										:-)