Fw: Funny church humor 1

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Mercy unto you, and peace, and love,
be multiplied.-Jude 1:2

Bro. Daniel M. Westbrook Sr.

----------
> From: James Barr <jbarr@mail.acilink.org>
> To: Danial <dwestbro@mail.acilink.org>
> Subject: Fw: Funny church humor 1 
> Date: Thursday, May 15, 1997 9:00 PM

Subject: Funny church humor 1  > >
CHURCHES SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS... 
> 
> - - -- These are ACTUAL announcements from ACTUAL church bulletins.
> 
> 1.  Don't let worry kill you --let the church help. 
> 
> 2.  Thursday night -Potluck supper.  Prayer and medication to follow.
> 
> 3.  Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
>
> 4.  For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
> 
> 5.  The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of
David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
> 
> 6.  This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of
the church.  Children will be baptized at both ends. 
> 
> 7.  Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social.  All ladies
giving milk will please come early.
> 
> 8.  Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet.  Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put
me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
> 
> 9.  Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
Club.  All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor
in his study.
> 
> 10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and
lay an egg on the altar.
> 
> 11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water."  One of the
ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation willj oin in.
> 
> 12.  Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of
the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will
come forward and do so. 
> 
> 13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
> 
> 14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
> 
> 15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
Hell?"  Come early and listen to our choir practice. 
>