Speaking in tongues

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> He says that his pastor says that tongues has passed away because
> in the new testament the spirit was "given out by the laing on of hands."
> He also says, "> We don't believe that you need to speak in tongues to
> prove the existence of the Holy Spirit being with you"

On the day of Pentecost, when the Holy Ghost was initally poured out
on mankind in masses, there were no laying on of hands. Read Acts
chapter 2:1-4.

In fact, there was only one time when the Apostles layed hands on anyone
and they received the Holy Ghost, and that was NOT a result of the laying
on of hands...it was the result of a ready and repentant heart. The laying
on of hands was simply a prayer that he would received the Holy Ghost.

Read Acts 10:44-48 (this will cover baptism also):

While Peter yet spake these words, the Holy Ghost fell on all them
which heard the word. And they of the circumcision which believed
were astonished, as many as came with Peter, because that on the
Gentiles also was poured out the gift of the Holy Ghost. FOR THEY
HEARD THEM SPEAK WITH TONGUES, and magnify God.

Then answered Peter, Can any man forbid water, that these should
not be baptized, which have received the Holy Ghost as well as we?
And he commanded them to be baptized in the name of the Lord....

As far as tongues being proof, we prefer the word "evidence". Proof 
would imply that you are being asked to "prove" you have the Holy
Ghost, which would mean you could speak in tongues at will.

Evidence is something that happens to be there as a result of something.
On a murder scene, the murderer leaves evidence that he's been there, 
but proof doesn't come into play until one is on trial and has to defend 
himself. Tell your friend to concentrate on being filled with the Holy Ghost,
and the tongues will come with it...just like a pair of mens shoes...I don't
go buy shoes then look for tongues...the tongues come with the shoes.