Mixed Races

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In a message dated 97-05-30 16:35:52 EDT, Harrell01 wrote:

<< The only "special problem" is in the mind of the person who feels that
 bi-racial couples need *special* counseling.>>

Not so...in one of your earlier posts, you told of how you have been called
names, and have even had trouble getting waited on in stores. I believe that
the people who brought these troubles to you did not think that "bi-racial
couples are in need of counselling", but rather that they shouldn't exist.

BTW, I never used the term *special*. I think that may be part of the
misunderstanding.


<< Like it or not, believe it or not,
 this is racism and prejudice in its purest form.>>

By your definition, maybe. I had hoped to stay out of this one, and hoped it
had faded away....but, here goes:

My pastor is black (because that is where I found the truth)
The Religious Organization (PAW) I belong to is mostly black (same reason)
My best friend is black (because he is a true friend, indeed)
My children's godparents are black (we chose them because we knew that they
could be trusted to raise our children in the Lord, if we needed them to)
Three of my godchildren are black (same reason, I hope)
My dog is a black labrador.( I couldn't resist...IT'S TRUE!!)
I have to tell people, "Some of my best friends are white".
I was once asked if I went to a "white" church...My answer, "No, it's made of
brown bricks"

What is the point?....o, yeah, I am white, caucasian, whatever you'd like to
call it.
Have I experienced prejudice?...of course:

When I took my young Goddaughter and her mother (whom my wife had led to the
Lord) to the store to buy shoes, we nearly couldn't get waited on (they
thought we were a bi-racial couple), but I had never given it a thought,
until we got there.

When a young black lady (a member of our church) lived with us in our home
for over four years, people constantly referred to her as our children's
"nanny".

My son was reported to the police for suspicion of stealing a neighbor's
bicycle. The proof: he was walking down the street with "one of them", (a
young black boy, that is). The bike was later found where it had been
left...at a neighbor's house.

I have been called "whitey" and "honky" by some blacks, and "n-word lover" by
some whites. I even had one black man explain to me that it "wasn't my fault
I am white", whatever that means. I have had to sit quietly in a room with
"saints" (who were black) who repeatedly and vociferously stated that "you
can't trust the white man!!"

Remember, I can easily stop this type of prejudice toward me by simply
finding new friends, associates, godparents, church affiliations, etc. that
prove "acceptable" to those who criticize me. But, I'll choose my own
friends, if they don't mind....and even if they do! Just think, if F. Lee
Bailey had thought to ask the question, Mark Fuhrman would have undoubtedly
stated a stronger hatred for Nicole Brown Simpson than for O.J. , since she
had *chosen* to marry "one of them".

I remember a long time ago, when the boxer, Muhammed Ali made the comments,
"A black man doesn't want his grandchild to be a cream-colored baby any more
than the white man does. Robins mate with robins, bluejays with bluejays;
they are all birds, but even they are smart enough to stay with their own
kind." I didn't agree with him then, and I don't agree with him now.....BUT
there are those who do (black and white)...and to ignore that fact can cause
a person a lot of unnecessary pain. Perhaps some parents have no problem with
their children marrying someone of another race, but there are those who do,
a lot mainly due to the teaching of their generation. Both people entering
into a bi-racial marriage should have already thought about how it will
affect their relationship with the parents who raised them, and other
relatives in their family who may not be so open-minded. They may refuse to
come to their daughter's wedding, threaten to disown them...who knows what
else). My mother-in law argued, fought, and threatened not to attend the
wedding, or pay for any of it because she disapproved of her daughter
marrying me. Why...because I wasn't Catholic. Parents can create a great
division and add a great deal of stress to both the wedding and the marriage,
when they disapprove. Of course, we expected this...it came up during
pre-marital counselling.

Think about the high-profile athletes who are accused of "forgetting who they
are, and where they came from", because they are black, and their wives are
white. These accusations came from members of the "black community". Clarence
Thomas was accused of being "uppity",for having a white wife, by...guess
who... members of the "white community".
 
 <<When *you* see a bi-racial couple, and *your* immediate thought is that
 something is *wrong*, then there is something that lies within YOUR 
 heart that is socially and spiritually impure. >>

This is a totally incorrect assumption, and accusation,  on your part. I
recognize that there are others who DO have a problem with this, and can
cause problems for the couple. To counsel does not mean that there is the
assumption that something is *wrong*, otherwise there would only be
pre-marital counselling for couples where troubles are expected. I hope that
you will reconsider the harshness of the words you have used (racism,
prejudice, socially and spiritually impure hearts) toward those of us who
agree with you that there is nothing *wrong* with bi-racial couples, but also
believe that the couple should go into the relationship "with their eyes
open".

I remain your friend and brother in the Lord,

Pastor Joe