Dead horse ... nyuk, nyuk

• Messages sorted by:[ date ][ thread ][ subject ][ author ]

Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse,
the best strategy is to dismount and BURY THE HORSE.
      
However, in government we often try other strategies with dead horses,
including the following;
      
1.  Buying a stronger whip.
2.  Changing riders.
2a. Changing stables.
3.  Saying things like, This is the way we always have ridden this horse.
4.  Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5.  Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. 
6.  Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
7.  Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
8.  Creating a training session to increase our riding ability. 
9.  Comparing the state of dead horses in todays environment. 
10. Pass legislation declaring that This horse is not dead. 
11. Blaming the horses parents.
12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Declaring that No horse is too dead to beat.
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horses performance. 
15. Do a CA Study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper.
16. Procure a COTS dead horse.
17. Declare the horse is better, faster and cheaper dead. 
18. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses. 
19. Revisit the performance requirements for horses.
20. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent varible. 
21. BRAC the stable it came from.
22. Submit a product improvement program to decrease the smell of dead horses.
23. Ignore the smell and issue requirements for all riders to wear masks.
24. Submit a suggestion showing how much money you can save by buying dead
horses.
25. Submit an OSCR program showing the reduction in O&S costs for dead horses.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A week in the life of a Notes Support Personnel

 Monday
--------
 
 8:05am
 User called to say they forgot password.  Told them to use password 
 retrieval utility called FDISK.  Blissfully ignorant, they thank me 
 and hang up.  And we let the people vote and drive, too?
 
 8:12am
 Accounting called to say they couldn't access expense reports 
 database.  Gave them Standard Sys Admin Answer #112, "Well, it 
 works for me."  Let them rant and rave while I unplugged my
 coffeemaker from the UPS and plugged their server back in. 
 Suggested they try it again.  One more happy customer...
 
 8:14 am
 User from 8:05 call said they received error message "Error 
 accessing Drive 0."  Told them it was an OS problem.  
 Transferred them to microsupport.
 
 11:00 am
 Relatively quiet for last few hours.  Decide to plug support
 phone back in so I can call my girlfriend.  Says parents are
 coming into town this weekend. Put her on hold and transferred
 her to janitorial closet down in basement. What is she thinking?
 The "Myst" and "Doom" nationals are this weekend!
 
 11:34 am
 Another user calls (do they ever learn?).  Says they want ACL
 changed on HR performance review database so that nobody but HR can 
 access database. Tell them no problem.  Hang up.  Change ACL.  Add 
 @MailSend so performance reviews are sent to */US.
 
 12:00 pm
 Lunch
 
 3:30 pm
 Return from lunch.
 
 3:55 pm
 Wake up from nap.  Bad dream makes me cranky.  Bounce servers for 
 no reason.  Return to napping.
 
 4:23 pm
 Yet another user calls.  Wants to know how to change fonts on form. 
 Ask them what chip set they're using.  Tell them to call back when 
 they find out.
 
 4:55 pm
 Decide to run "Create Save/Replication Conflicts" macro so next 
 shift has something to do.


--
Bro Tyler Nally <tnally@iquest.net> <tgnally@prairienet.org>

Higher-Fire Oneness Apostolic Emailing List
Send e-mail to: listproc@prairienet.org to ...

 a) ... Subscribe                  SUB HIGHER-FIRE Your Name
 b) ... UnSubscribe                UNSUB HIGHER-FIRE
 c) ... Postpone Mail              SET HIGHER-FIRE MAIL POSTPONE
 d) ... Resume Mail                SET HIGHER-FIRE MAIL ACK
 e) ... Change to H-F Digests      SET HIGHER-FIRE MAIL DIGEST
 f) ... Check H-F Settings         SET HIGHER-FIRE 
 g) ... Review H-F Subscription    REVIEW HIGHER-FIRE

H-F Homepage     :  http://www.prairienet.org/upci/h-f.html
H-F Nettiquette  :  http://www.elilabs.com/upc/net/higher-fire/netiq.html
WWW Archives     :  http://www.elilabs.com/upc/net/higher-fire
H-F F.A.Q.       :  http://www.elilabs.com/upc/net/higher-fire/FAQ.html
H-F Channel      :  http://www.elilabs.com/upc/net/higher-fire/pointcast
H-F QuickTour    :  http://www.prairienet.org/~tgnally/HigherFireTour.html
H-F Questionaire :  http://www.prairienet.org/upci/questions.html