Funny how ....
Tyler Nally (tnally@iquest.net)
Wed, 20 May 1998 10:09:35
WHERE ARE OUR PRIORITIES?
Funny how $20 looks so big when we take it to church
and so small when we take it to the store.
Funny how big an hour serving GOD looks and how small 60 minutes
are when spent playing golf, fishing, or playing bridge.
Funny how laborious it is to read a chapter in the Bible and
how easy it is to read 2-3000 pages of a best selling novel.
Funny how we believe what newspapers say
but question what the Bible says.
Funny how we can't think of anything to say when we pray and don't
have any difficulty thinking of things to talk about to a friend.
Funny how we need 2 or 3 weeks to fit a church event into our schedule,
but can adjust it for a social event at the last minute.
Funny, isn't it?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Is Your MaMa Home?
"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps
in front of a house. "Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let
him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once,
then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow
said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied,
"She is; but this isn't where I live.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
We Finally Meet St. peter...and.........
A man dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter asks him what
religion he belongs to. The man tells him and Saint Peter says
"oh, we have a lot of your kind here. In fact, we have a special
room for all of you so you can all be together."
He leads the man down a long hallway with doors on either
side.
They pass one door and they hear a bunch of yelling and
hollering inside. "Who's in that room?" the man asks. "Oh,
those are the holy rollers," says Saint Peter. "They make a lot
of noise but they're pretty harmless".
They pass by another door which is nearly shaking off its
hinges. "Who's in there?" the man asks. "That's the room for
the Shakers" replies Saint Peter.
Then they approach another door. Saint Peter whispers to the
man, "we must be very quiet going past this door. Don't make
a sound." They tiptoe past the door and when they get farther
down the hallway the man asks Saint Peter who was in that room.
"Oh, those are the Catholics. They think they're the only
ones up here."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Reputation and Character"
The circumstances amid which you live determine
your reputation; the truth you beleive determines your character.
Reputation is what you are supposed to be; character is what you are.
Reputation is the photograph; character is the face.
Reputation comes over from without; character grows up from within.
Reputation is what you have when you come to a new community; character is
what you have when you go away.
Your reputation is learned in an hour; your character does not come to light
for a year.
Reputation is made in a moment; character is built in a lifetime.
Reputation grows like a mushroom; character is built like the oak.
A single newspaper report gives your your reputation; a life of
toil gives you your character.
Reputation makesyou rich or makes you poor; character makes you
happy or makes you miserable.
Reputation is what men say about you on your tombstone; character
is what the angels say about you before the throne of God.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
HOW TO TELL YOU'RE AN E-MAIL JUNKIE and
if the shoe fits, WEAR IT!
1. You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and stop to check your
e-mail on the way back to bed.
2. You name your children Eudora, AOL and Dotcom.
3. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you
just pulled the plug on a loved one.
4. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and
your child in the overhead compartment.
5. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for
the free Internet access.
6. You laugh at people with 14.4-baud modems.
7. You start using smileys in your snail mail.
8. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word
processor.com
9. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
10. You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
11. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
12. You don't know what gender three of your closest friends are, because
they have neutral screen names and you never bothered to ask.
13. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
14. You tell the cab driver you live at
"http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html"
15. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
16. After reading this message, you immediately E-mail it to a friend.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I've learned that:
**you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is
be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
** no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back
**it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
**it's not what you have in your life, but who you have
in your life that counts.
**you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that,
you'd better know something.
**you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can
do, but to the best you can do.
**it's not what happens to people that's important.
It's what they do about it.
**you can do something in an instant that will give you
a heartache for life.
**no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
**it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
**it's alot easier to react than it is to think.
**you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
**you can keep going long after you think you can't.
**we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
**either you control your attitude or it controls you.
**regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is atfirst, the
passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
**heroes are the people who do what has to be done when
it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
**learning to forgive takes practice.
**there are people who love you dearly, but just don't
know how to show it.
**money is a lousy way of keeping score.
**my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the
best time.
**sometimes the people you expect to kick you when
you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
**I'm getting more and more like my grandma, and I'm
kinda happy about it.
**sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
**true friendship continues to grow, even over the
longest distance. Same goes for true love.
**just because someone doesn't love you the way you want
them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
**maturity has more to do with what types of experiences
you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how
many birthdays you've celebrated.
**you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely
or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it
would be if she believed it
**your family won't always be there for you. It may
seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and
love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.
**no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going
to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
**it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
**no matter how bad your heart is broken the world
doesn't stop for your grief.
**our background and circumstances may have influenced
who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
**sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose
sides even when I don't want to.
**just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each
other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
**sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
**we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
**if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.
**you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It
could change your life forever.
**the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.
**two people can look at the exact same thing and see
something totally different.
**no matter how you try to protect your children, they
will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
**there are many ways of falling and staying in love.
**no matter the consequences, those who are honest with
themselves, get farther in life.
**many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.
**no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar,
you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.
**your life can be changed in a matter of hours by
people who don't even know you.
**even when you think you have no more to give, when a
friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
**writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
**the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.
**credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
**the people you care most about in life are taken from you to soon.
**although the word "love" can have many different meaning,
it loses value when overly used.
**it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice
and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Cotton is Dead:
A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. "Is Fred home?"
he asked the woman who answered the door. "Sorry," the woman replied.
"Fred's gone for cotton."
The next day the collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?" "No, sir,"
she said, "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton."
When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for
cotton again,?" "No," the woman answered solemnly, "Fred died yesterday."
Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a
week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was
poor Fred's tombstone, with this inscription: ...
"Gone, But Not for Cotton."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
--
Bro Tyler Nally <tnally@iquest.net> <tgnally@prairienet.org>
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