Funny how ....

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>>>>> "Tyler" == Tyler Nally <tnally@iquest.net> writes:

    Tyler> HOW TO TELL YOU'RE AN E-MAIL JUNKIE and if the shoe fits,
    Tyler> WEAR IT!

    Tyler> 1.  You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and stop to
    Tyler> check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

I've done that before.  Of course, I also check to see who all is
logged into my server, how the ram, swap, and disk space is holding
out, and what the load on the system is, and whether the internet link
is up.  It's like checking on a baby in the midle of the night.  I
just check my mail while I'm there anyway.  :-)

    Tyler> 2.  You name your children Eudora, AOL and Dotcom.

Ain't no way: taht's *GROSS* !!!

    Tyler> 3.  You turn off your modem and get this awful empty
    Tyler> feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

Actually, the only reason I turn off my modem is when I suspect an
intruder may have penetrated my system.  Turning off the modem is the
modern equivalent of raising the drawbridge over the moat around the
castle.  I actually phoned and had my wife do this today, which
explains why some of you could not view the archives or log in.  It
actually turned out to be a flakey crimp on the SCSI bus ribbon cable, 
but I couldn't tell that until I got home at 9:30 CDT this evening.

    Tyler> 4.  You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on
    Tyler> your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.

My child would probably have the laptop on her lap, and put me in the
overhead compartment.

    Tyler> 5.  You decide to stay in college for an additional year or
    Tyler> two, just for the free Internet access.

No, tuition costs more than a dedicate ISDN connection.

    Tyler> 6.  You laugh at people with 14.4-baud modems.

No, I give people 14.4 modems for free, just so they can get on at
all.

    Tyler> 7.  You start using smileys in your snail mail.

I also use them in handwritten notes.

    Tyler> 8.  You find yourself typing "com" after every period when
    Tyler> using a word processor.com

It is the popular misconception of the proliteriat that .com is "just
what you say", while in reality there are many other primary domains
besides com.  One Apostolic Bible school almost registered in the com
domain, but a few of us here on HF managed to convince them that the
edu domain would be a more appropriate choice for a school, and the
org domain would be a better choice for a church.  They registered in
edu. 

    Tyler> 9.  You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

No, downloading is bringing something into you machine; uploading is
sending something out of your machine.  I hope you do not eat the
stuff in the toilet!

    Tyler> 10. You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

Actually, she does.

    Tyler> 11. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you
    Tyler> check it again.

No, that's when I go to bed.

    Tyler> 12. You don't know what gender three of your closest
    Tyler> friends are, because they have neutral screen names and you
    Tyler> never bothered to ask.

I work with one person whose gender I am not sure of, and I see this
person every day!

    Tyler> 13. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before
    Tyler> you landscape.

Actually, I httpd-ed before I netscaped: give unto others...

    Tyler> 14. You tell the cab driver you live at
    Tyler> "http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html"

Only if he has a laptop with a cell modem in his cab.

    Tyler> 15. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

I don't have to tilt it; look at this:

    O   O
   \  A  /
    `---'

    Tyler> 16.  After reading this message, you immediately E-mail it
    Tyler> to a friend.

A whole mailing list full of friends!

-- 
--------  "And there came a writing to him from Elijah"  [2Ch 21:12]  --------
Robert Jay Brown III   rj@elilabs.com   http://www.elilabs.com  1 847 543-4060
Elijah Laboratories Inc.    457 Signal Lane    Grayslake IL 60030
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