an unusual testimony

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Hm... for some reason this does not seem to be getting
through.  This is my 3rd and final attempt to send it; it's
kinda out of date but was in reference to a post on 
higher-fire a few weeks ago.  It is my testimony, not
really about how I came to know Christ (although 
that is mentioned) but more about the faith that we
all rely on to persevere until Christ shows us the 
answers.  It may be an unusual sort of testimony, as
the answers have not yet come, but I know all will 
happen God's perfect timing.

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>	Right now I feel that God is preparing me for the ministry.  A fire
>is burning so strong in my sould now, I feel like i am unstoppable! I still
>hurt thnking about Tabitha but I have prayed about that and God has gave
>me peace about it and reminded me time and time again that all things
>work toward good.  I feel in my heart that I will be with her again one day
>but not until God has his way with me.

I didn't really know Christ until I got to college (almost 4 years 
ago), where a friend, Travis, invited me to church with him. 
I went and soon Jesus acted on the seed Travis had planted.  
I was baptized and began to grow in Christ.  Travis and I 
began going out and soon got serious.  We intended to be 
married.  He was a great guy and I was really thankful for
him, but for some reason, I wasn't really feeling the love I
knew I should be feeling for him.  Finally after several months
of denying that something was wrong, I ended our relation-
ship.  It was especially hard on him because he was so in 
love and he didn't believe that anything was wrong.
I felt awful, but I just knew it wasn't right even though I 
didn't know why.  

After ending our relationship, I found that I had to make 
decisions for myself.  Suddenly, I wasn't going to church 
just because that's what Travis did.  I wasn't abstaining
from sin just because that's what Travis wanted.  I found
that all the things I ought to do for Jesus, I had really 
been doing for Travis and had never made a conscious
decision about what *I* believed I ought to do.  I don't
think I could have really grown in Christ if I had stayed
with him.  I was following the rules, but I had never 
really considered why.  

I returned to school this May for what would have 
been my graduation (I began working full time after my 
Junior year because Carnegie Mellon messed up my
aid package).  Travis and I were freshmen together,
so this was his graduation too.  I ran into him Sunday
at the church that he had first invited me to.  I knew
he'd been seeing someone, but was a little unprepared
when he introduced me to his wife of 8 days.  It was
a difficult moment, but when I think of it I am pleased 
to know that he found the one that God intended
for him, and I think he and I will both be happier this
way. 

I don't know what God has in mind for me, but I trust
that if I follow His path I will have the best outcome.
Although it is sometimes hard to think about what
"might have been", I have faith that "what will be" is 
even better.  Someday I will look back and think of 
Travis and be quite thankful to Christ for not allowing 
me to make a mistake and miss out on all He had in 
store.

-Dee
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