IBM's Global Community ... nyuk, nyuk

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Greetings Saints in Jesus name!

We all know how IBM wants everybody using their hardware and 
software.  Here's a pretty good nyuk, nyuk based on a whole 
new application of their hardware...... enjoy!

Bro. Tyler

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| Bro. Tyler Nally   ---[ Higher-Fire Co-Owner and Moderator ]---       |_| |_ 
| Email addr : tgnally@prairienet.org  tnally@csci.csc.com              |_   _|
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KABINDA, ZAIRE--In a move IBM officials are hailing as a major step
in the company's ongoing worldwide telecommunications revolution,
M'wana Ndeti, a member of Zaire's Bantu tribe, used an IBM global
uplink network modem yesterday to crush a nut.

Ndeti, who spent 20 minutes trying to open the nut by hand, easily
cracked it open by smashing it repeatedly with the powerful modem.

"I could not crush the nut by myself," said the 47-year-old Ndeti,
who added the savory nut to a thick, peanut-based soup minutes later.
"With IBM's help, I was able to break it." Ndeti discovered the
nut-breaking, 28.8 V.34 modem yesterday, when IBM was shooting a
commercial in his southwestern Zaire village. During a break in
shooting, which shows African villagers eagerly teleconferencing via
computer with Japanese schoolchildren, Ndeti snuck onto the set and
took the modem, which he believed would serve well as a "smashing"
utensil.

IBM officials were not surprised the longtime computer giant was able
to provide Ndeti with practical solutions to his everyday problems.
"Our telecommunications systems offer people all over the world
global networking solutions that fit their specific needs," said
Herbert Ross, IBM's director of marketing. "Whether you're a nun
cloistered in an Italian abbey or an Aborigine in Australia's Great
Sandy Desert, IBM has the ideas to get you where you want to go
today."

According to Ndeti, of the modem's many powerful features, most
impressive was its hard plastic casing, which easily sustained
several minutes of vigorous pounding against a large stone.  "I put
the nut on a rock, and I hit it with the modem," Ndeti said. "The
modem did not break. It is a good modem."

Ndeti was so impressed with the modem that he purchased a new,
state-of-the-art IBM workstation, complete with a PowerPC 601
microprocessor, a quad-speed internal CD-ROM drive and three 16-bit
ethernet networking connectors.  The tribesman has already made good
use of the computer system, fashioning a gazelle trap out of its
wires, a boat anchor out of the monitor and a crude but effective
weapon from its mouse.

"This is a good computer," said Ndeti, carving up a just-captured
gazelle with the computer's flat, sharp internal processing device. 
"I am using every part of it.  I will cook this gazelle on the
keyboard." Hours later, Ndeti capped off his delicious gazelle dinner
by smoking the computer's 200-page owner's manual.

IBM spokespeople praised Ndeti's choice of computers.  "We are
pleased that the Bantu people are turning to IBM for their business
needs," said company CEO William Allaire.  "From Kansas City to
Kinshasa, IBM is bringing the world closer together. Our
cutting-edge technology is truly creating a global village."