Unix Laugh.. nyuk, nyuk

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Greetings Saints in Jesus name!

This nyuk, nyuk is after the wise of the old Abbott and Costello 
"Who's on First" routine..... but it's shrouded around different
unix type commands...... 

I realize that some of you, after reading this, may never ever want
to even think about using a computer with unix on it.  Some of you
probably have never even considered it, but this nyuk, nyuk is about
to put the final nail in the coffin for you ever *wanting* unix as
your primary OS..... enjoy!

Bro. Tyler

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| Bro. Tyler Nally   ---[ Higher-Fire Co-Owner and Moderator ]---       |_| |_ 
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A Customer calls a UNIX consultant with a question

Customer    : What is the command that will tell me the revision code of   
              a program ?

UNIX consul : Yes, that's correct.

Customer    : No, what is it ?

UNIX consul : Yes.

Customer    : So, which is the one ?

UNIX consul : No. 'which' is used to find the program.

Customer    : Stop this. Who are you ?

UNIX consul : Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'.  You can also 'finger yoo'
              to get information about yoo'.

Customer    : All I want to know is what finds the revision code ?

UNIX consul : Use 'what'.

Customer    : That's what I am trying to find out.  Isn't that true ?

UNIX consul : No. 'true' gives you 0.

Customer    : Which one ?

UNIX consul : 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'

Customer    : Let's get back to my problem.  What program?  How do I   
              find it?

UNIX consul : Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'.  Type 'what
              program' to get the revision code.

Customer    : I want to find the revision code.

UNIX consul : You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'.

Customer    : Which command will do what I need?

UNIX consul : No. 'which command' will find 'command'.

Customer    : I think I understand.  Let me write that.

UNIX consul : You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your system.

Customer    : Write what?

UNIX consul : No. 'write that'.  'what program'.

Customer    : Cut that out!

UNIX consul : Yes.  Those are valid files for 'cut'.  Don't forget the   
              options.

Customer    : Do you always do this ?

UNIX consul : 'du' will give you disk usage.

Customer    : HELP!

UNIX consul : 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System(SCCS).

Customer    : You make me angry.

UNIX consul : No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname'   
              when I was upset once.

Customer    : I don't want to make trouble, so no more.

UNIX consul : No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'.  Every system   
has 'more'.

Customer    : Nice help! I'm confused more now!

UNIX consul : Understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is
              better not to 'nice help'.  And 'more now' is not allowed but 
              'at now' is.  Unless of course 'now' is a file name.

Customer    : This is almost as confusing as my PC.

UNIX consul : I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'.  Let me get you to   
              the Pascal compiler team.