Why dogs don't use computers ... nyuk, nyuk

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Greetings Saints in Jesus name!

I know you've all wondered it.  I know that it's kept you up late 
nights and even had a few prayer meetings about it.  But the definitive
list of "Why Dogs Don't Use Computers" has finally hit the streets.
Yep!  You can rest at night knowing why little Fido has such an awful
time with the electronic desktop machinery that we all use...... enjoy!

Bro. Tyler
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| Bro. Tyler Nally   ---[ Higher-Fire Co-Owner and Moderator ]---       |_| |_ 
| Email addr : tgnally@prairienet.org  tnally@csci.csc.com              |_   _|
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         ***The Top Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers*** 

-Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.

-Fetch command not available on all platforms.

-Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.

-Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.

-Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."

-Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.

-Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee. 

-Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.

-Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.

-Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome

-'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS!  Now, cats, on the other hand...

-Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.

-SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
 (There's internet software that'll allow simultaneous transmission of
  video (voice optional) and text called CU-SeeMee (or See You - See Me))

-SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!

-Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver. 

-TrO{gO HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. 
  (Too Hard To Type With Paws.)