various nyuk, nyuks

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Greetings Saints in Jesus name!

I've heard the first nyuk, nyuk years ago.  But the second nyuk, nyuk
took me completely by surprise.... enjoy!

Bro. Tyler

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Two college students are piloting a plane, when they discover that they
must make an emergency landing.  Luckily enough, there is a nearby
(unused) airstrip, so they decide to land there.
As they fly over it, one says, "that's an awfully short runway; I don't
know if we can land on it."  The other points out that there's no
choice, so they have to try.
They bring the plane in as slowly as possible, touching wheels right at
the beginning of the runway, and immediately hit the brakes.  The plane
slides to a halt with the front wheels hanging off the runway's end.
One student turns to the other and says, "We made it! But this must be the
*SHORTEST* runway I've ever seen!!"  The other says, "Yeah, but it must
be at least two miles *wide*."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

During the recent Karpov-Kasparov world chess championships they came
to an adjournment and left for their hotel.  In the lobby of the hotel
several chess enthusiasts could be heard bragging,

  "I could beat Karpov with no problem".

  "Oh yeah, I could beat both of them at the same time."

  "That's nothing, I could beat both of them blindfolded!"

Finally, the hotel manager had had enough and threw them all out of the hotel.

  "But why?" a bystander asked.

  "Because," the manager replied "I hate ...

        ".... chess nuts boasting by an open foyer!"

(ta-dump-dump)