Insurance form .... nyuk, nyuk's

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Greetings Saints in Jesus name!

Below are real, live (supposed) compact descriptions of folks
that have filled out insurance claim forms attempting to describe
the accident in the shortest amount of words used.... enjoy!

Bro. Tyler

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Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided 
   with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning 
   of its intention.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head
   through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number 
   of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my 
   mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way 
   home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, 
   obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at 
   the wheel and had an accident.

I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when 
   my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in 
   a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I 
   was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the car in front of me I struck a pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my 
   hat found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side 
   of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced 
   off the roof of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a 
   small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found 
   in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve 
   out of the way when I struck the front end.