Tuesday Columns

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A web page I like visiting is "Keith Drury's Tuesday Columns."  I
enclose a sample of what's there below.  The URL is:

http://www.goshen.net/tuesday/

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                       How to become a Rich Preacher.

I've been thinking that we have too many poor preachers around. Perhaps you
are one of them. I've decided to help. Here's how: By releasing my
guaranteed *Ten Step Plan* to become a rich preacher. After much study,
research, and testing, I am now prepared to release this to the exclusive
list of the readers of this column. The plan has been secret and used only
by a few of the elite ministry millionaires in this country until now. But
today you, too, can join the big time by knowing this information. You do
not have to pay the thousands of consulting dollars others had to pay for
this plan, but right here, today, you can have the plan absolutely free of
charge! Hard to believe, isn't it?

Why would I give away the trade secrets of the religious industry? Because,
frankly, I think it's time we all got richer in the ministry. After all, if
God 'owns the cattle on a thousands hills,' shouldn't we be able to eat a
fatted calf from time to time? Or, (while we're using bovine allusions) if
we've been faithfully treading out the corn, don't we deserve to eat some?
Sure we do; so here is the guaranteed *Ten Step Plan* for becoming a rich
preacher.

1. SELL CASSETTES.

I know, it doesn't sound like much, but you gotta' start somewhere. Record
your messages and sell them to other preachers. The market for cassettes of
easily-imitated messages is apparently infinite. Buy at a dollar, sell at
five. You're on your way to riches already!

2. SELL VIDEOS.

Not because they are better than audio tapes, but because you can get four
times as much money for the same message. Always lean toward the value-added
products on your table.

3. WRITE SOME BOOKS.

Books extend your product line to make more money. You don't even have to
write them yourself -- you can just collect and rearrange other peoples'
ideas. Besides, many people buy them for souvenirs, not to read them.

4. TRAVEL AND SPEAK.

Go to conventions. This is where you sell your books. Expand your in-person
market beyond the local level. A 'live audience' will purchase an average of
$5-$10 per person. Like they say in this business, 'The larger the crowd,
the larger the purse.'

5. DEVELOP A MOTIVATIONAL MESSAGE.

Face it, you won't get rich warning people about the state of the church.
Tell them happy things, motivational things. Local church ministry is so
disheartening today that there is an enormous market for encouragement and
inspiration. Become a dealer in hope. Hope always sells.

6. BE FUNNY.

If you are going to be a high ticket speaker today you've got to be funny.
Learn how to make people laugh and they will reward you handsomely.

7. DEVELOP A PROGRAM NOTEBOOK.

Develop a complete packaged program of *The Answer* for local churches.
Every church is looking for *The Answer* and they hope you've got it.
They'll pay from $79..95 to $129.95 to get it.

8. LAUNCH A ONE-DAY SEMINAR.

By now you should be getting famous. You can now market this fame, like a
$100 plate dinner -- just to get to be with you. Here's how you do it:
Charge people 50 bucks to come and hear your day-long infomercial. It's
incredible! Once you're famous, people will actually pay to hear you
advertise your stuff. Now you are well along your way toward wealth!

9. GET AN AGENT.

C'mon, you can't pull down $3000 a gig if you're answering your own phone.

10. START A TV SHOW.

Hey, that's where the real money is, so get rolling. And TV offers another
advantage, less accountability.


There you have it! Just follow these simple ten steps and you, too, will
become a rich preacher. In fact, if you scrupulously follow this plan, you
could eventually be lucky enough to leave the pastorate all together.
Wouldn't it be nice to dump those nagging attendees and critical board
members? By following these steps you could escape the pastorate altogether
and go full time on the road - telling other pastors how to do it!

Of course, if you follow this plan you won't be the first rich preacher in
history. Take John Wesley, for instance. Wesley was one of the richest
preachers of all times. In today's economy he earned the equivalent of 1.4
million in his best year. Yep, you read that right: $1.4 *Million* in a
single year. They didn't have cassettes and videos then, but he did quite
well, thank you, from donations, speaking, books, and what he called
'PennyTracts.' John Wesley makes today's religious hucksters look like
entrepreneurial slackers. And to boot, he led England to a spiritual revival
all the while he was raking in the cash! John Wesley is a testimony that
entrepreneurism and revival are not mutually exclusive. England's greatest
awakening came through the leadership of one of the richest preachers of all
time.

How did he spend all this money? He didn't. He gave it away. I am not
kidding. He simply gave it away. In the year he earned $1.4 million, he
lived on 2% of his income and gave 98% of it away! Wesley pulled down the
equivalent of $30 million during his lifetime, but when he died, left behind
only a few miscellaneous coins here and there and a couple of silver spoons.
The rest he had given away. His best known sermon on money begins with point
#1. 'Earn all you can' and winds up with, #'3. 'Give all you can.' He
'practiced what he preached' on both points.

Most of us would rather practice Wesley's first point more than his third.
Perhaps this is why we have far more entrepreneurism than revival in our
country?

What do you think?

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Tuesday Column FREEware by Keith Drury
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Past columns can be accessed on the WWW at:
http://www.goshen.net/tuesday/