Marriage

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>>>>> "Timothy" == Timothy Litteral <brotim@netzero.net> writes:

    Timothy> While this is of course sage advice in a marriage, it has
    Timothy> nothing to do with never arguing.  Why is it so hard to
    Timothy> invision that the means by which you can achieve this
    Timothy> *agreement* is through a debate, and yes, with the
    Timothy> particularly hard headed, a heated debate complete with
    Timothy> *sinless* anger?

The classical description of personality breaks personality traits
into 4 categories: sanguine, choleric, melancholy, and phlegmatic.
The words are of Greek origin, as is the breakdown theory.  Without
digging into the theory, let it be said that the cholerics just love a 
good argument, debate, etc., while the phlegmatics will do just about
anything to avoid any kind of confrontation.

The phlegmatics are those who can easily envision a marriage without
argument, while the cholerics would almost be dissapointed if they did
not have one fairly often.  Cholerics call it a debate, and view it as
a chance to understand the other's view and to express one's own view
at the same time -- hence a deepening of the relationship.

Phlegmatics call it a fight, and view it as a complete breakdown of
the relationship, and of no possible good at all.

Bro. Timothy, you and I are cholerics.  Some of the people on this
list are phlegmatics.  We are all Christians.  If we can understand
that not everyone has the same emotional makeup, nor should they, then
we can begin to identify the personalities of others as well as
ourselves.  This will help us greatly in relating to those of
different personality types.

I recomend the book "Personality Plus", (can't remember author, but
she is female) as an easy reading but good introduction to this
fascinating subject.

-- 
--------  "And there came a writing to him from Elijah"  [2Ch 21:12]  --------
R. J. Brown III  rj@elilabs.com http://www.elilabs.com/~rj  voice 847 543-4060
Elijah Laboratories Inc. 457 Signal Lane, Grayslake IL 60030  fax 847 543-4061
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