More foreign quotes ... nyuk, nyuk

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More foreign quotes, 'nuf said.

"THE PRACTICAL, POWERFUL SIMULATION SOLUTION"


*** Polish Restaurant:  As for the tripe served you at the
         Hotel Monopol, you will be singing its praises to your
         grandchildren on your deathbed.

*** Paris Restaurant:  We serve five o'clock tea at all
         hours.

*** Bangkok Bar:  The Shadiest Cocktail Bar in Bangkok.

*** Swimming pool on the French Riviera:  Swimming is
         forbidden in the absence of a savior.

*** Sri Lanka Swimming Pool:  Do not use the diving board
         when the swimming pool is empty.

*** Torremolinos Hotel:  We highly recommend the hotel tart.

*** Hotel on the Ionian Sea:   In order to prevent shoes
         from mislaying, please don't corridor them. The  management
         cannot be held.

*** Tel Aviv Hotel:  If you wish breakfast, lift the
         telephone and our waitress will arrive.  This will be enough
         to bring up your food.

*** Istanbul Hotel:  To call Room Service, please open the
         door and call Room Service.

*** Beirut Hotel:  Ladies are kindly requested not to have
         their babies in the cocktail bar.

*** Mexico City: We sorry to advise you that by a electric
         disperfect in the generator master of the elevator we have
         the neccessity that don't give service at our distinguishable
         guests.

*** Gaspe Peninsula:  No dancing in the bathrooms!

*** Madrid Hotel:  If you wish disinfection enacted in your
         presence, cry out for the chambermaid.

*** Tokyo Hotel:  Keep your hands away from unnecessary
         buttons for you.

*** Paris Hotel:  A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but
         not trousers.

*** Paris Hotel:  Tea in a bag, just like mother.

*** Chinese Road Sign:  Go soothingly on the greasy mud, for
         therein lies the skid demon.

*** French radio Station Sign-Off:  We hope you enjoyed our
         nocturnal emmissions and will be with us for more tomorrow.

*** Barcelona Travel Agency Sign:  Go Away.

*** Amusement Ride Sign in Saudi Arabia:  For your safety
         this game is not allowed for those who suffer from hearts,
         diabetics, nerves, high pressure and pregnants.

***  Zanzibar Barbershop:  Gentlemen's throats cut with nice
          sharp razors.

*** Israeli Butcher Shop:  I slaughter myself twice daily.

*** Highway Signs in India: Avoid Overspeeding.  Always Avoid
         Accidents.

*** A collection of various signs, packages, T-Shirts and
         shopping bags in Japan:
        - Just Fit For You, King King
        - Fancy Pimple
        - Persistant Pursuit of Dainty
        - Vigorous Throw-up
        - A drop of sweat is the precious gift for your guts

*** Mexican City Hotel:  Broken English spoken perfectly.