You might be an Apostolic if...

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1. Your only weekly exercise involves dancing in the aisles..
2. You stand more than sit during a service.
3. Have met a wall up close in personal while running the aisles..
	(God never said you had to close your eyes.. ;) )
4. The all you can eat buffet is your friend.
5. Women's hair-do's get stuck in the churches fans...
6. The Hammond company is your friend.
7. The choir does more moving than an aerobic instructer.
8. The Holy Ghost moves more than the people in the back row.
	(sorry, couldn't resist)
9.  While preaching, your pastor remembers the good ol' days
	and just has to tell you about them.
10. Women: if use hair spray more than reading your Bible.
11. Men: if you use more sculping spray, gel, (whatever makes your hair
	gooey) than your Bible.
12. Go to the Bible college to find your mate.
13. Have ever been in any group such as, AmWay, S.C.I.....
14. Can quote Acts 2:38 in your sleep.
15. The titles, Father, Son, Holy Ghost remind you
	of just one savior named Jesus.
16. Have visited Branson Missouri.
17. Have ever "Jesus named" your food.
18. The  local Denny's knows you by name.
19. Have ever been asked any of the following:
	* Why don't you wear shorts?
	* Why can't you swim with us?
	* I thought you guys weren't allowed to dance?
	*Is your pastor asthmatic?
20. Your TV consist of a VCR and *a few* channels.
21. Your VCR plays more blockbuster videos than the local
	movie theater.
22. Your tv "hides" when not in use.
23. "Coming out of the closet" is what your tv does when being used.
24. Know what a "poof" is.
25. Been called any of the following:
	*Jesus Only
	*One God person
	*Bible Thumper
	*Jesus Freak
	*Religious fanatic
	

Chris Sterrett
sterrett@juno.com
-------------------------------
Apostolic Bible Church
Acts2.38@juno.com