Government projects nyuk nyuk...

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Forwarded from:  Randy Walker <Randy_Walker@FAIRHAVEN.CCMAIL.COMPUSERVE.COM>

In the beginning...

In the beginning God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly He was faced
with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact
statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was
stymied with the Cease and Desist order for the earthly part.

Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why He began His earthly project
in the first place. He replied that He just liked to be creative.  Then
God said, "Let there be light." Officials immediately demanded to know how
the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about thermal
pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of
fire.  God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that
no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that He would obtain a
building permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light out half
the time.  God agreed and said He would call the light "Day"  and the
darkness "Night."  Officials replied that they were not interested in
semantics.

God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as many seed."
The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God said, "Let waters
bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over
the earth." Officials pointed out this would require approval from the
Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and
the Audubongelic Society.

Everything was OK until God said He wanted to complete the project in six
days. Officials informed Him it would take at least 200 days to review the
application and the environmental impact statement. After that there would
be a public hearing. Then there would be 10-12 months before...

At this point, God created Hell.