Nyuk-Nyuk You might Be a High Tech Redneck if:

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>>>>> "LGSONG" == LGSONG / RGSOUNDMAN / JOYBELS <rgsound@ix.netcom.com> writes:

    LGSONG> YOU MIGHT BE A HIGH TECH REDNECK IF:

    LGSONG> If you have old computers up on blocks in the front yard.

No, but they are in cardboard boxes "just all over" the basement.

    LGSONG> If your e-mail address ends in "over.yonder.com."

No, but I just might register it... OOPS! Oh no!  I'm too late!

eli:/usr/rj$ nslookup yonder.com
Server:  tremor.xnet.com
Address:  198.147.221.34

Non-authoritative answer:
Name:    yonder.com
Address:  206.31.73.158

traceroute to yonder.com (206.31.73.158), 30 hops max, 40 byte packets
 1  ts-1.xnet.com (205.243.155.2)  122.742 ms  138.146 ms  127.364 ms
 2  gw-1.xnet.com (205.243.155.1)  126.931 ms  306.645 ms  128.499 ms
 3  chi00-a2-ds3.nap.net (206.54.225.25)  259.048 ms  148.881 ms  130.477 ms
 4  Yorktown.nap.net (207.112.247.33)  138.864 ms  189.362 ms  139.719 ms
 5  core0-fddi0.sjc.nap.net (207.7.0.6)  209.73 ms  199.551 ms  209.497 ms
 6  cpe1.hay.mci.net (198.32.136.72)  210.372 ms  199.38 ms  300.15 ms
 7  core3-hssi2-0.SanFrancisco.mci.net (204.70.1.13)  432.174 ms  212.327 ms *
 8  border6-fddi-0.Atlanta.mci.net (204.70.86.66)  221.557 ms  239.312 ms *
 9  border6-fddi-0.Atlanta.mci.net (204.70.86.66)  260.756 ms  219.358 ms  240.786 ms
10  clever-computers.Atlanta.mci.net (204.70.88.106)  388.53 ms  279.367 ms  279.704 ms
11  * 206.31.73.158 (206.31.73.158)  270.136 ms *

eli:/usr/rj$ ping yonder.com
PING yonder.com (206.31.73.158): 56 data bytes
64 bytes from 206.31.73.158: icmp_seq=0 ttl=244 time=335.5 ms
64 bytes from 206.31.73.158: icmp_seq=1 ttl=244 time=340.1 ms

--- yonder.com ping statistics ---
3 packets transmitted, 2 packets received, 33% packet loss
round-trip min/avg/max = 335.5/337.8/340.1 ms
eli:/usr/rj$ 

So there *IS* a yonder.com.  Is ther an over.yonder.com?

eli:/usr/rj$ nslookup over.yonder.com
Server:  tremor.xnet.com
Address:  198.147.221.34

*** tremor.xnet.com can't find over.yonder.com: Non-existent host/domain

Apparently not.  I wonder if yonder.com runs a dnsd and would serve
over.yonder.com as an alias to eli.wariat.org...

    LGSONG> If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home
    LGSONG> Page."

I *LIKE* it!

    LGSONG> If the bumper sticker on your truck say's "My other
    LGSONG> computer is a Laptop."

My truck died of terminal homesickness when I moved from the hills of
Kentucky to the big city of Chicago.  The "big hook" towed it away
last year :-(

    LGSONG> If your laptop has a sticker that say's "Protected by
    LGSONG> Smith & Wesson."

I can't afford a laptop (much less a Smith & Wesson) that will hold
128 MB ram and 5 GB disk and be a permanent presence on the internet,
so I don't have one.  (Yet!)

    LGSONG> If you wire your network with jumper cables.

Actually, I use speaker wire.

    LGSONG> If you!ve ever doubled ths value of your truck by
    LGSONG> installing a cellular phone.

Yes :-)  Actually much more than just doubled...

    LGSONG> If your Door Rifle has laser-guided bullets.

Can't afford laser *anything* but my old trusty QMS 1987 model laser
printer, made way down south in Mobile Alabama.

    LGSONG> If your baseball cap reads "DEC" instead of "CAT."

I can't afford to go to COMDEX either.

    LGSONG> If your computer is worth more than all your cars
    LGSONG> combined.

Well, when I get a new engine in my car this will no longer be true,
but earlier this afternoon the only car that worked was a rent-acar.
The tranny died in my wife's car a week ago.  We just got it out of
the tranny shop this afternonn.  Before "the hook" got my 1977 Jeep
J-10 pick-up, I *NEVER* had to rent a car; it *ALWAYS* worked.

    LGSONG> If your wife ever said either she or the computer had to
    LGSONG> go and you still don't miss her.

As a consultant, it was usually me and my computer that "went".

    LGSONG> If you'll ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer
    LGSONG> on.

NO, I only got a CDROM drive last month.  (It now has the Linux
Slackware CD mounted for FTP and NFS for all of you to enjoy :-) But I
sure have used many an old hard drive platter as a coaster under my
Dr. Pepper!

    LGSONG> If you over refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."

No, unfortunately, I was raised up by my cyber-elders to always refer
to the computer as "the Beast".  This was 10 years before I even knew
the Bible had a book called Revelation in it!

    LGSONG> If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite
    LGSONG> truck, tactor, or farm animal.

Well, not quite... It is a picture of two mallard ducks from the
dept. of conservation duck stamp program :-)

    LGSONG> If you start all of your emails with the words "Howdy
    LGSONG> Y'all, thought u's might like this here e-mail"

I frequently do use "howdy" :-)

So do I qualify?  Do I get a hat?  Huh?  Huh?  Pleeeeeease...

-- 
--------  "And there came a writing to him from Elijah"  [2Ch 21:12]  --------
Robert Jay Brown III  rj@eli.wariat.org  http://eli.wariat.org  1 847 705-0424
Elijah Laboratories Inc.;  37 South Greenwood Avenue;  Palatine, IL 60067-6328
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