Moses and EIS .... nyuk, nyuk

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  God called down to Moses and said, "I've got good news and bad news.
Which do you want first?"

  Moses replied, "Most awesome God, if I have brought you any favor
please give me the good news first."

  "Moses, the good news is that I've chosen you to deliver my people
from bondage," God answered.  "I will force Pharoah to release my
children by causing years of pestilence in Egypt.  There will be
plagues of locusts and frogs and incredible devastation upon the land.
Pharoah's armies will chase you as you try to leave, but do not fear
because I will part the waters of the Red Sea to aid in your escape."

  "And the bad news?" Moses inquired.

  "You have to prepare the Environmental Impact Statement," God replied.

--------------------

There once was a rich man who was dying.  While on his death bed, he
tried to negotiate with God to have God allow him to bring his earthly
treasures with him to heaven. "God, please, I have worked so hard to
accumulate all these riches. Can't I bring them along?"
"This is very unusual," said God, "but since you have been such a
faithful steward, I will allow you to bring one suitcase." The man
immediately had a servant fill a large suitcase with gold bricks.
Shortly thereafter, he died.  When he arrived at the pearly
gates, he was stopped by St. Peter. "I'm sorry sir, but you know the
rule -- 'you can't take it with you.'  You may enter, but the suitcase
has to stay outside." "But God told me I could bring one suitcase," the
man protested. "Well, if God says it's O.K. -- but I still need to
examine the contents before you enter." St. Peter took the suitcase from
the man, opened it, and, looking very puzzled, said to the man, "You
brought *PAVEMENT*?"





--                                            
 ______ ___   __ _____ __    __   __  __ tnally@iquest.net
|_    _|   \ |  |  _  |  |  |  |  \ \/ / tgnally@prairienet.org
  |  | |  |\\|  |  _  |  |__|  |__ |  |  T. Nally - "A M.I.M.E. is a
  |__| |__| \___|_| |_|_____|_____||__|  a terrible thing to waste."