Church Bloopers ... nyuk, nyuk

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                     ~~~  Church Bloopers!  ~~~

* Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

* Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.

* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
  nursery downstairs.

* Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church.
  Please use large double door at the side entrance.

* Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights.
  She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!

* The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of
  David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

* This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of
  the church.  Children will be baptized at both ends.

* Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social.  All ladies
  giving milk will please come early.

* Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet.  Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put
  me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.

* Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mother's
  Club.  All ladies wishing to become "Little Mothers" will meet with
  the Pastor in his study.

* This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and
  lay an egg on the altar.

* The service will close with "Little Drops of Water."  One of the
  ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join
  in.

* Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of
  the new carpet.  All those wishing to do something on the carpet will
  come forward and do so.

* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind.  They
  can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

* Thursday night--Potluck supper.  Prayer and medication to follow.

* The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 p.m.  Steak, mashed potatoes,
  green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

* A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
  Music will follow.

* 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several
  new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

* The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys
  sinning to join the choir.

* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
  Hell?"   Come early and listen to our choir practice.

* The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir
  will sing, "Break Forth With Joy."

* Today... Christian Youth Fellowship Sexuality Course, 8 p.m.
  Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.

* During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of
  hearing a good sermon when A.B. Doe supplied our pulpit.

* The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

* The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the
  Rev. Shirley Green who has Mrs. Green with him.  After the service
  we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the
  Greens.

* The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet": in the
  church basement on Friday at 7 p.m.  The congregation is invited to
  attend this tragedy.

* The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

* Pastor is on vacation.  Massages can be given to church secretary.

* Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing
  for the girth of their first child.

* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
  recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

* The associate minister unveiled the church's new giving campaign
  slogan last Sunday:  "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."

--                                            
 ______ ___   __ _____ __    __   __  __ tnally@iquest.net
|_    _|   \ |  |  _  |  |  |  |  \ \/ / tgnally@prairienet.org
  |  | |  |\\|  |  _  |  |__|  |__ |  |  T. Nally - "A M.I.M.E. is a
  |__| |__| \___|_| |_|_____|_____||__|  a terrible thing to waste."