Poem

"Matt" (matt@republic.net)
Tue, 14 Oct 1997 05:18:33 -0500


Here is a poem that I wrote after going thru some heavy
stuff in my life. 
It seems sad at first, but wait until the end.

Alone

I feel the pain of a broken heart.
As I see the tears falling down my baby's eyes
I hear her call for her Daddy, 
As I walk out the door that I must walk thru.
I see the anger and hurt in a young boy's eyes,
As he tells me that he will miss me.

I feel the loniness of a broken heart
As I make the long drive home, alone
I feel the coldness of being by my self
As I look toward another day without the family that I
let the enemy steal away.
I cry out to a God that is allowing me to go thru hell
So He can mend the broken heart and clean the dirt out
that I let get in.

I ask God why hasn't the pain stopped.
Even though it has been years
Everytime that I must take my babies home, 
The wounds are torn open again
Then I either let God have His way for a season,
Or I backslide right then.
Because even knowing that I'm doing wrong, 
And the intertorment of the war for my soul continues
To beat on inside of me, 
At least the loniness is being hid from me.

Then as suddenly as a mighty wind,
The Spirit of God engulfs me with His Love.
Letting me know that my Jesus has been all along,
During the good and the bad.
Showing me that ONLY IN HIM,
Will I have peace, joy, and rightousness in the Holy Ghost

To live for Him, I must trust in Him
For He is my Joy and my Strength.
If I try to live for Him in my own strength,
I WILL FAIL.
I must walk in the HIS Spirit, 
So that I won't forfill the works of the Flesh. 

Now I have peace, joy and rightousness,
But not mine, 
HIS peace
HIS joy
And HIS rightousness.

Then He showed me my 2 babies praying for me
And my son told me about the angel with the sword That he saw,
And I remember the day that they were baptizied in Jesus' Name.
Then I actually realized that I wasn't lonily anymore.

-M.S.
10-13-97