Funnies??

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Sister Donna: 
> A recent survey found that 58% of Americans
> think that government is too big. The other
> 42% ARE the government.

Me:
What's funny about this?  Over 40% of the GNP is spent on the government. 
Don't be misled by this though, along with all the ENOURMUS (sp?) WASTE,
this includes the army, roads and all.
 
Sis:
> How to tell if your computer is FEMALE: 
> No one but its creator understands its
> internal logic, and you find yourself spending
> your paycheck on accessories.

Me:
Not true.  I understand women very well, it just doesn't HELP! ;-)

The Litteral truth:
You know your computer is a female when you get messages that appear to
mean one thing but when you give the 'normal' response, it refuses to
communicate anymore...

You know your computer is a female when you notice that although it HAS a
key board, there isn't even one key...

You know your computer is female when after you get an ERROR message
repeatedly and access the help file IT TELLS YOU NOTHING IS WRONG!...

You know your computer is female when after long hours of intense
intructions, it does what it wants to anyway and it still SOMEHOW turns out
to be what you wanted done all along...

You know your computer is female when it unexpectedly switches to the
internet mall, orders $5000.00 worth of curtains to COVER UP the windows
that only cost $3000.00 to buy and install.  It then takes you HOURS to get
out of the site as it takes you through ten departments that have NOTHING
TO DO with curtains and when you FINALLY do get it to your home page, the
computer informs you that it didn't get what it wanted and you have to go
back tomorrow...

You know your computer is female when you run your accounting software to
balance your check book and find that you are $60.00 in the hole only to
receive a message that that you inputted a $20.00 surplus at the beginning
of the week.  You make further queries and find that there is a listing for
a new pair of shoes with the notation "You said we had an extra $20" and a
listing for a new vase with the notation "It was only $20, and you said we
had $20 to spare"  along wiht two other with the same notation...

These are all original, use them in a Christian manner huh?. ;-)

Timothy Litteral
brotim@gte.net  Luke 6:26
I have chat by appointment only
http://members.tripod.com/~trlitteral/