Choice permitted or not to women?

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The right to hold a secret in marriage is lost the day that you say "I DO".
That goes for the man as much as for the women.

I have been married for going on 13 years. I was married to my wife outside
the church. The worst problems that we have had, has involved people telling
something to one of us, and then requesting that we not share it with the
other. IT DONT WORK.

Both MY WIFE AND I have adopted the policy, that we will not hold secrets
from one another. When asked not to share information with the other, we
inform the person, that we have an open marriage, and that such a request
cannot be honored.

That way the problem that we are discussing becomes a non-issue.

Marriage is not about secrets. It's not about honoring requests made by
others to keep secrets that are placed above the rights of either spouse to
know whats going on. When it comed to what MY WIFE is doind for my 40th
bithday coming up. THAT IS A SECRET. I respect that right of hers to
surprise me. BUT AND I STRESS BUT, when a sister in our old church came to
my and stated somehting about our pastor, in confidence, that slammed the
pastor. She came right home and told me, I called the pastor, and the pastor
was able to deal with the problem, BEFORE it got out to the general body.

There is no reason that a husband should have to go hunt the information.
SHE the wife should have a policy of no secrets. This should be a policy,
that is adopted early in marriage BY BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE. Then the problem
becomes a none issue.

Example: (I am using a Sister, though I have heard of this with men also)
Sister A id talking to sister B. Sister B is talking about how rotten her
marriage. How Brother B is this and that. How he does this and that. This is
done in request of not telling anyone even the husband. So over the ensueing
months Sister A becomes disgruntled in her marriage, and Brother A does not
know why. At some point Brother A begins to see a problem, and starts to ask
questions. He is told nothing, and there are fights that start. Before you
know it Sister A is feeling like Sister B. Before you know it, secrets have
distroyied a marriage that was once a good marriage.

Just my humble opinion, of having been there, done that, and suffered the
results.

--
In the service of the King....
Kirk Moore
United Pentecostal Church of Renton
Renton, WA

Black holes are created when God divides by zero
"or"
Magic only works if you believe, bullets work whether you believe
or not.