Feminine Mystique and Apostolic Sisters

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On Mon, 19 Oct 1998 13:01:31 -0500 "Matthew Shaw"
<mshaw@teleplex.bsu.edu> writes:
>
>[Matthew]:
>Of course, I'm thinking of the militant feminism that breaks down 
>gender
>relationships.  I am opposed to the brand of feminism that seems to 
>assert
>that women are everything men are so they can do anything a man can.  

I agree. I think this is very troublesome in our society. Women have lost
the special place we once had (and need).  Women are not men and should
not act or be treated as such.  I'm afraid in our society, women do act
like men in so many ways and men, having been taught that women are
basically men with female parts (excuse my bluntness,but I didn't know
how to better phrase that), treat us as such. I think television has done
a grave disservice in this area along with the rise of pornography, but I
suppose it began when women started wearing pants and cutting their hair
and working. Let me rephrase that.  I suppose it began when women wanted
to rebel because the men weren't leading like they should.  The booze
issue was a big one back then.

>[Matthew]:
>Well, obviously, in society, it has taken the mother out of the home 
>and
>placed mother's who desire to stay at home in the 'prude' category.  I 
>think
>feminism has caused women of the world to assume male dress, 
>mannerisms and
>even vices.  I think it has made women less pensive and more 
>promiscuous.

Amen, Amen, Amen.  Preach it brother!

>[Matthew]:
>I think it has made some women rebellious and unsubmissive.  I believe 
>that
>women are misunderstanding their role in the family and in the Church 
>and
>have, in many cases, found it difficult to bring themselves under the
>leadership of their husbands and pastors.

Although this is true, may I be so bold to state that men have much
misunderstood their own role.  Men are supposed to lead.  I have known
many women who wanted a right relationship with their husband and tried
so hard to be sumbissive that they took all sorts of bad things from him.
 (I am not absolving women of all responsibility, but women cannot follow
where they are not lead.) 

>[Matthew]:
>Absolutely not!  Women are, in all cases, our equals, our helpmates, 
>our
>companions.  I'm not asking women to act as 2d-rate citizens.

I'm glad.  Many women who practice "submission" (or think they are) are
actually practicing dishonesty.  Let me give you an example: Hubby comes
home raging mad.  He yells at his wife and kids and kicks the dog. Wife
knows if she tells him the truth about how hurt she is and how he is
ruining their family life he will rage all the harder. So she "submits"
and cooks and cleans and walks on eggshells  forever. She probably has no
tears to shed because her heart has been hardened. Church time comes and
they go and she puts on a smile and lies about her "nice" husband. "He
works so hard," She tells herself, "If I could only keep the house
cleaner or the kids quieter, he wouldn't get so mad."  She tries to
control the situation by her own goodness.  All the church messages were
for her. "Submit,"she hears "Give" she hears.etc. etc.  Her husband uses
them against her to control her never lifting a finger to change himself.
 She leaves determined to try harder and things get worse.  I said all
that to say that women need to know that submission is not equivalent to
lack of dignity and self respect.

Real submission would force her husband to take responsibility for his
actions.  Real sumbission allows the husband to lead without trying to
fix everything he broke.  When the husband yells at the kids and treats
them bad, instead of blaming herself, (falsely controlling the situation)
("If I had kept them out of his way...etc.) when the kids yell and kick
the dog she should say "Why, honey, they act just like you."  If the
phone bills are behind because he spent the money she shouldn't take
action when they try to disconnect it.  Real submission is very hard
because it causes things to crumble if the husband refuses to be a real
man. False submission and nagging go hand in hand. Real submission allows
consequences to prove irresponsibility.

I think feminisim may have been originally good because it gave women a
voice and some strength. The new feminism rob's women of the right to be
a woman.  It robs us of our right to be soft and emotional and intuitive
and romantic. We need dignity and strength and how much better off we
would all be if our men would really lead.

Lynne Yohnk
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