My Call(was Feminine Mystique)

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On Tue, 20 Oct 1998 12:31:30 -0700 Steven Sanabria
<sanabrias@geocities.com> writes:
>	Not to start a burned out thread again, but this is the reason 
>that I'm
>so adamant against women pastors, preachers, and prayer leaders.  It
>upsets the natural order that God has set up by having a woman in a
>position of supernatural authority over men, whether they have their 
>own
>husband's permission, or not.

Let me first state that I agreed with the majority of your post and
thought it was well written.  I'll let Bro. Shaw answer you on the other
points.

 As you can see from my previous posts, I'm not a radical feminist by any
sense of the word.  I am, however, a preacher. I truly apologize to all
who are tired of this topic.  I have no desire to debate. If discussion
is desired, fine.

I wish to share my testimony with you about my call.  A number of years
ago, I felt a growing sense of urgency and need to do something.  I
didn't know what it might be.  I door knocked.  Taught many, many Bible
Studies.  Prayed, fasted etc. etc.  The gnawing kept at me.  I was
worship leader for our church and that didn't help either.

I picked up Oma Ellis' book, Oma.  She was an old time preacher.  I was
disgusted.  "Well", I thought,"I'll read the book, but it doesn't pertain
to me. I don't even believe in women preachers".  I had no conscious
thought or desire to the ministry but I actually made that statement to
myself.  I read it and it inspired me but I couldn't swallow it.  I just
didn't beleive in women preachers. Period.  I could read in the Bible
where it said "Let the women keep silence" and "I suffer not a woman to
teach" and that was all I needed.  Women who disregarded scripture so
readily had a personal problem, I figured.

The feelings of discontent kept at me.  Finally I felt God called me on
an extended fast. I fasted until 5 every day and then ate.  I did this
for 10 days. I felt this was ordained by God for me to fast after this
manner. (This may not be a big deal for some, but was major for me as I
was both female and quite thin.) Things happened every day.  Toward the
7th to 9th day, God said "Look up Acts 2 and read it."  Okay, I thought,
but whatever could I see in there that I haven't seen before?"  The words
"daughters prophesied" jumped out at me and the understanding came to me
that women spoke in a prophetic and authoritative manner.It hit me like a
lightening bolt.  "Well, whatever", I thought.

Then some words in my margin jumped out at me.  They said "Go preach." 
"God, I can't," I said, "No one will believe you want me to do this."

I had another battle going on at this time.  It was about wedding rings.
(Remember, please, this is my testimony.)  I hadn't worn one except for 2
weeks after I was married and then gave it up, but I still wanted one. 
It bothered me that others wore them.  Did not the scripture say "Not
with gold?" Well, if it was okay, I wanted one.

The 9th day, God told me "Go to the pawn shop where you sold your ring
and you can buy it back. (This 4 years after I sold it.)  I fought with
God.  "God", I said "This isn't right.  We preach against jewelry and
then wear it.  What about being a stumbling block to someone?"  I opened
my Bible and it opened directly to the passage of "Take heed lest this
liberty of yours becomes a stumbling block to them that are weak."  It
made me mad.  I felt like God was messing with my mind.

Finally, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I could wear a ring if I
wanted, but God was calling me to something higher.  I told God "Okay, if
the ring is there, I will know I am called to preach."

I went to the pawn shop shaking all the while.  I asked for the rings
much against my own grain.  I looked and a ring just like mine was there.
 I put it on.  I took it off.  I walked out and the Lord spoke as clear
as a bell "You could've chosen that ring, but instead, you've chosen to
serve my people." And He also said something I had read in Oma's
book."The permissive will of the Lord is a dangerous thing."  Meaning, I
could've chosen the ring in God's permissive will, but I chose the higher
call. 

I knew my husband and pastor were going to think I lost it.  I knew they
would tell me "Go home and bake cookies" but they didn't.  I almost
wished they had.  I was asked to preach shortly thereafter.  I lay on the
floor all afternoon feeling like I was going to throw up.  I don't know
how I ever made it through.  When I got home that night and in bed, God
said "WE DID IT!!"  It was awesome.  Obedience is very high in price
sometimes.

My saga was not near to being over.  I still could not make sense of the
scriptures.  I studied for hours. I talked to people who gave me shallow
answers that did not satisfy.  For years, I searched.  I hesitated to
preach even after all that God had shown be because I firmly believed
that the scripture must be preemminent.  Only little by little did
understanding come.  It was not a lightening bolt understanding. 

God was trying to get me to take authority and I was constantly rejecting
it.  With experience, I began to understand more what authority was and
how I related to it. My heart and soul is tied up in this topic. I never
wanted to preach. (Still sometimes don't.)  Then a fire shoots up in my
bones and I have to get it out.  And after all the things I did that did
not satisfy, Bible studies, worship leading, assistants wife, door
knocking etc.  I finally had the answer, and who can take it away?

We need women preachers.  If we don't, women do not have a voice.  Men
are flesh and prone to error just like women.  If women do not have a
voice, the male nature dominates and we do not have balance.

Lynne Yohnk 
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