Darwin award contenders

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      Doctors at Portland's University Hospital said
 
 Wednesday an Oregon man shot through the skull
 
 by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive, and will be
 
 released soon from the hospital.  Tony Roberts, 25,
 
 lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation
 
 into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous,
 
 in Grants Pass, Ore. A friend tried to shoot a beer
 
 can off his head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right
 
 eye. Doctors said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to
 
 the left, a major blood vessel would have cut and
 
 Roberts would have died instantly
 
      Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny Delashaw at the
 
 University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went
 
 through 8 to 10 inches of brain, with the tip
 
 protruding at the rear of his skill, yet somehow
 
 managed to miss all major blood vessels.
 
      Delashaw also said had Robert tried to pull the
 
 arrow out on his own he surely would have killed
 
 himself. Roberts admitted afterwards he and his
 
 friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said
 
 Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this."  No charges have
 
 been filed but the Josephine Court District attorney's
 
 office said the initiation stunt is under investigation.
 
      ----------------------------
 
      [AP, St. Louis] Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently
 
 being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the
 
 clerk threatened to call police, Puelo grabbed a hot
 
 dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without
 
 paying for it. Police found him unconscious in front of
 
 the store: paramedics removed the six-inch wiener
 
 from his throat, where it had choked him to death.
 
      ---------------------------
 
      [Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA] Blasting
 
 Cap Explodes in Man's Mouth at Party.  A man at a
 
 party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit
 
 down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips,
 
 teeth and tongue, state police said Wednesday. Jerry
 
 Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a
 
 prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl.
 
 M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium,
 
 hooked to a battery, and was trying to explode it,"
 
 Payne said. "It wouldn't go off and this guy said, 'I'll
 
 show you how to set it off. "He put it in his mouth
 
 and bit down. It blew all his teeth off, his tongue and
 
 his lips," Payne said.
 
      Stromyer was listed in guarded condition
 
 Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according
 
 to a spokesman at Charleston Area Medical
 
 Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing something
 
 like that," Payne said.
 
      *************************************************
 
      ...O.K.... one more, but that's it: Another true
 
 story of a guy in L.A. who was afraid of heights, and
 
 had to go up on his roof to adjust his TV antenna.
 
 So he tied a rope around himself, and tied the other
 
 end to the bumper of his car. Well, he should have told
 
 his wife . She went out and got in the car to go to the
 
 store. The man was pulled off the roof and dragged
 
 down the street before someone alerted the wife to
 
 the fact that she had some extra cargo.
 
      The man was rushed to the hospital where he
 
 spent a couple of weeks recovering, more or less.
 
 Unfortunately, the story does not end there. To make
 
 amends, the wife planned a little surprise party for
 
 her husband the day he returned home. She invited
 
 several couples over to enjoy the festivities, most of
 
 them smokers. Since the wife and husband smoked
 
 too, they had several lighters around the house, and
 
 the wife decided to fill them before the guests arrived.
 
 To be safe, she took them all into the bathroom and
 
 filled them over the toilet.
 
      Have you guessed yet?  Yes, the husband used
 
 the bathroom immediately afterward, and threw his
 
 cigarette into the toilet while sitting..... Smoking can
 
 be hazardous to your health...