Deep thoughts nyk nyks

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Various Deep Thoughts
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 From an actual newspaper contest where entrants age 4 to 15 were
 asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."
 
 My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him
 we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies.
 I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell
 and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him.  --Age 10
 
 I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm."  Unless it was
 just a lawn mower.  --Age 11
 
 I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that
 the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water 
 for
 some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets
 more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was
 a big fire and everyone died.  --Age 13
 
 I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I
 don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash
 clothes on the last day of their life?  --Age 15
 
 It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday,
 like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people
 voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long
 weekends. --Age 8
 
 As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few
 minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days
 saved up. --Age 7
 
 Home is where the house is.  --Age 6
 
 Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher.
 That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. --Age 15
 
 It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident.
 No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood
 would be right there. --Age 5
 
 Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept
 the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13
 
 Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if
 you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest
 number you could come up with. --Age 6
 
 The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe
 "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or
 "Isn't it morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was
 speeding?"  --Age 15
 
 If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world
 peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until
 the looting started.  --Age 15